How to support kids in sports without pushing them too hard

"How much should I push my child in sports?" 

It’s a question almost every parent asks—but few admit out loud.

On one hand, you want your child to reach their potential, to grow stronger (mentally and physically), and maybe even earn a future scholarship.

On the other, you're terrified of pushing so hard that the sport becomes a burden, not a joy. Striking the right balance between emotional support and performance direction is one of the toughest parts of being a sports parent.

Growing up, I used to play baseball in a youth league. I wasn't the most talented kid, although I did know how to work hard, which made me improve my game pretty fast.

I wanted to be good at it, and most of all, I wanted to make my dad proud. He had played too until his adult life, and I got to watch it. I just wanted to be like him.

But as the years went by, I didn't seem to have the same "anger" that other players have. That inner aggressiveness that makes people stay locked in the game.

And to make things "better", my dad was the coach, which meant he expected more of me than of any of the others.

My dad didn’t coach all my baseball teams growing up, but on my last year that I played he was my coach. It was a lot of pressure being the coach's son. I felt like if I messed up, he would be disappointed with me.

That year I our team didn’t do very well, and I remember feeling like it was partly my fault because of mistakes I made on the field. My dad never was disappointed in me, but he also never said anything to prove otherwise.

After that I decided to quit baseball because I didn’t feel like I was good enough to go farther than that.

Looking back, I wish I hadn’t quit baseball, and I also wish I would have tried other sports instead of just playing baseball year long. I feel like it would have had more fun, and I could have made more friendships along the way.

That’s why kids play sports, to have fun and make friends. The trophies are just bonuses.

Now that I have the knowledge of sports psychology and with the support of my wife who is a specialist in sports neuroscience, we've come up with a few steps to help young athletes succeed without pushing them over the edge.

Here's what we recommend: 4 Steps to Support Your Young Athlete Without Burning Them Out

1. Focus on enjoyment first. If your child dreads practice, it’s a warning sign. Keep fun at the center. When kids enjoy what they’re doing, they naturally put in more effort.

2. Praise effort, not just results. Celebrate the hustle, the teamwork, the resilience—not only the goals scored or games won. Effort is the skill that translates to all areas of life.

3. Encourage variety.

Let them try different sports and activities. It builds athleticism, prevents burnout, and allows them to discover what truly excites them.

4. Keep the conversation open.

Ask how they feel about their sport, teammates, and goals. Listening without judgment helps them feel safe and supported, not pressured.

As parents, your role isn’t to create the perfect athlete—it’s to raise a resilient, confident young person who happens to play sports.

Push enough to challenge them, but not so much that you break their love for the game. At the end of the day, that balance is what builds champions—on the field and in life.

We put together a free resource for parents called The Parent Toolkit for Resilient Athletes.

Inside, you’ll find practical tips to keep your child healthy, confident, and motivated—without burning out.

👉 Download your free copy here